Personal Childhood Web

I love colors! Colors are such a visual way to represent an idea or a thought. When you blog in different colors it helps to illustrate how you are feeling. This assignment was difficult for me. When I think about my childhood the happy memories are far and few between. The people who nurtured and cared about me were difficult to recall, in a way I feel as though I had slipped through the cracks; but this made me who I am today. 

My mom : 

As a child my parents were very different from each other. My mother only had a seventh grade education and my father served in the Marine Corps. Due to substance abuse my father wasn't always there and he was very abusive to my mother. He influenced who I became because I knew I never wanted to be that person. My mom on the other hand she sacrificed her entire life for us children. Even though she was constantly used as a punching bag and not allowed to work out side the home she was always positive and upbeat. She helped me with my homework, let me help her cook, and taught me the value of books. Sometimes I look back and remember the bad times and I feel like that is human nature but when I think of my mom only good things come to mind because she protected me and sheltered me. All of my siblings have dependency problems and I believe my mom is the reason why I am who I am.  The color yellow reminds me of my mom because it is bright and cheerful and is the color of the sun. Even when it is cloudy it can shine through and give you hope for tomorrow. I have recently moved 2,000 miles away from my mom so that I can raise my children in a different environment. I still talk with my mom several times a week. The way that she continues to influence my life is in my interactions with my own children and my drive to achieve. 

Pastor Shoup:

As a child I went to church three times a week just so I didn't have to be at home. The church was a refuge for me and in the process of trying to find a safe place I found hope. 

The pastor of our church probably doesn't even know what a strong influence he had on my childhood; but he did. His words and his actions influenced me to want to be a good person a godly person. Of course I got off track several times but I would always return to his words. When I was feeling down I would remember someone always had it worse. When I was feeling scared I would remember I am never alone because God is with me. When I was feeling happy I would remember to thank God because without him I had nothing. All of these feelings and thoughts made me who I am today. Pastor Shoup and his words gave me a sense of security when I was a child that helped me to survive and to thrive. I do not currently have a relationship with Pastor Shoup. The way that he currently influences my life is through the things he has taught me in the past and the love of the bible and it's teaching's. 

My oldest brother Steve:

I have three brothers Steve is the oldest. Steve is 8 years older than me and has a huge heart. When I was a child Steve would brush my hair, tie my shoes,and make sure that I was warm. He never yelled at me and he never judged me. When he moved out of our family home at the age of 15 I was devastated. I was in early elementary school and still very young. He was abused and beat on daily so I totally understand now why he left but at the time I was confused and upset. The way Steve currently influences my life is through the way I nurture my children. He taught me to be loving, forgiving, gentle and kind. I only see Steve about once a year and maybe as we get older and our children are grown we will see each other more

That is only 3 people so far and the assignment requires 5. This assignment is proving to be more of a therapy session than a homework assignment. But, true to my mom's style I am digging deep and trying to think of two more people that influenced me as a child. I am still here and raising amazing children of my own so there must be two more people who played an important role in my life. I would have to say that the elderly people in my neighborhood helped. When I was young I would leave home when there was still dew on the ground and I would return when the street lights came on. What did I do all day? I played alone at the park or with my younger brother. I liked to go to several of the elderly neighbors and just talk with them; because they listened. I don't even know the one neighbors names but they had a free standing swing in their backyard. I called them grandma and grandpa. I would sit with them on the swing and talk for hours and they would just listen. Sometimes they gave me candy; but mostly they gave me time. They passed away when I was a teenager but they played an important part in my childhood by being present and listening. The way that they influence my life now is I take the time to listen to children. What children have to say is very important to them and therefore it is important to me. That couple taught me that just being present and listening is very important to young children.

When I was in my early twenties I met my husband; who has had an amazing childhood and an extensive personal childhood web. He gives me courage, hope, love, strength, and promise for the future. Instead of focusing on the negative things I have been through in my life I choose to focus on how I can give my children a childhood that is full of love, laughter, and promise for tomorrow. I don't have a lot of photos to illustrate my childhood or my personal childhood web. What I do have is today and the web's I am helping to influence in a positive way :)